Wise Wednesday: "Dear Black Women..."

Dear Black Women...

Welcome and welcome back! It's another amazing day in paradise. Thank you so much for being here.

I'm so excited I get to talk about Black women today. If you don't mind I'm going to be a little bougie and talk about myself. The letter I'm going to write to Black women is not just from me. It's for me.

But before I go there can I just share some news? Wait... it's my blog so I give myself permission to do that. Sometimes we have to go through that process, ya know? 

We have to give ourselves permission to step into our bigness because our brains were trained to act small. Since we were small in stature, adults thought we were to act small. Now as adults many of us struggle to step into our bigness or don't know how without attempting to step on someone else.

Can we take a breath for that one? Whoosa! YEEEEEESSSS! 

Right now, I need and want to express my Love for God, for my Savior, for the Holy Spirit and for prophets. Each of these Entities play an essential role in my life. A lot of times I only allude to the presence of these relationships. But I'm telling you... I wouldn't be who I am if I did not rely on Power that's bigger than us all.

I have much respect for however you relate or don't. This is me! And I had to say something today because one of the things I wanted to share is I spoke during the city council public comment session yesterday afternoon. If you click on the link it'll take you to recording. If you scroll to 1:17:49, you'll see me approaching the podium to speak.

You are only given 3 minutes. I had written what I wanted to say and knew I needed to speak fast if I wanted to impart the entire message. Yes... well, I didn't. But that's OK. Because the point of my message was made.

The city council holds 2 public comment sessions a month. One during the day and the other during the evening. The reason why I bring this up is because I stopped going to the evening meetings. It was so triggering to my nervous system. The way people got up and spoke from their traumas really unsettled me and with only 3 minutes to speak there were times I wouldn't finish because I got emotional hearing other things that were happening.

Another thing that's important to note is that ever since the council starting holding the evening session on its own night the afternoon session hasn't been so busy. The last few times I went to speak there were less than 15 speakers signed up. That was more my jam!

I was shocked when I got to the meeting yesterday and the place was packed. I had no idea what was going on. It turns out that for the last meeting there were about 90 people signed up. 

I was told the meeting started around 7p and didn't end until after 11p. It's because people have been coming to speak out again the war on Palestine, asking the city leaders to make an official proclamation for a cease fire.

I'll be honest, I have only heard bits and pieces of what's going on with the war because that's not something I can handle. And the reality is I don't have to know. There's enough going on within this city, within the Black community for me to worry about. I'll let those who are experienced speak to it.

I usually feel quite confident in the messages I deliver, especially when I've taken the time to write it beforehand. And I was up early on Sunday morning writing it and reading it to see if it was going to be in the 3 minute time limit. It was... barely!

When I realized I would be delivering my message along side people who were asking for a ceasefire because their friends and family members were being killed in a country far away, I got a little nervous. First of all I wasn't bringing a happy message to the council. I was pretty pissed about all the police and security forces in Downtown over the weekend for the Christmas parade and other events that went on down there. 

But the point of my message was that even though the city council is the most diverse one in the history of the city, they are still operating by the Good Old Boys Rulebook. And that resembles how Trump operated. Yes, I did say it. 

I was also clear that what I meant is, if you are trauma informed, you would understand that Trump felt powerless all his life. And when he stepped into the highest seat of power he used that power to advance the rich and marginalize those who didn't look like him.

That's not it though. Before I got to that, I said the main thing I want them to remember is "Liberated people don't oppress others. Liberated people liberate others. Oppressed people oppress others." I said it a total of 3 times.

Here there are wars that are killing innocent people, clearly the acts of oppressed oppressors. And I come with a message about oppression and liberation while those who are directly affected are asking for their people to be liberated. That could have only been God. I didn't need to point out that I was speaking about Raleigh, specifically those who are unhoused. This is a message that resonated with everyone in that room.

I was in awe by how the message fit in with what everyone else was saying. And I give credit to God because I didn't know that. The one thing I didn't do was listen to much of what was being said before I spoke and I left immediately following. I just couldn't listen. I am going through enough trauma of my own. I don't need to add to it.

That's how I am able to regulate my nervous system. I have to because I'm regulating me for both me and Wisdom and whoever we come in contact with. I can't live with someone else's pain right now. 

That doesn't mean I don't sympathize with it. I don't need to know the stories to know that what's going on is wrong. I've heard enough. The attack that started it was enough. The pieces of history I've heard is enough. That's not my battle to fight though. And I'm grateful I know that.

And it's why I'm so excited to write this letter to Black women. We are deeply spiritual. We are active advocates. We are resilient and strong. But we are often unregulated. For so many of us, our nervous systems were developed under such harsh conditions. And we rarely get to a state of rest and digest.

This letter I'm writing is an invitation to get there. Not to stop what you are doing but to understand why you are doing it and make sure you're doing it in a healthy way. I am so honored I came into this world as a Black woman. And because I'm oppression informed, I don't feel the same weight others feel about being one.

I no longer feel I'm oppressed by others because I'm Black first and foremost. I think being intelligent is a HUGE factor, not everyone appreciates that. I think being a woman period is a factor. I KNOW being without a stable income and housing is the biggest one. Nevertheless, I Love the brown skin I'm in!

I Love my mind. I Love my body. I Love my heart. And I Love my spirit. I L.U.V. ME! All of me because I have learned my value! I am the reason why my company is called L.U.V., which stands for "learn ur value". It's because I learned mine. 

I'm still learning mine. I'm not there yet. And I hope I never am. I hope I keep excavating and discovering the depth of the diamond mine within me. From what I've seen, it is full of brilliance.

And if you ask me, I'll tell you that women are on their way to ruling the world. I firmly believe in the scripture that says, "the first shall become the last and the last shall become the first". 

Based on the Bible's account, women were "created" last. It was the final act of God and the only "very good" act of the Creation. With all the has come to pass, I believe women, especially Black women are going to lead the way of change in the future. 

I'm leaning heavily on this quote by Malcolm X to confirm my thinking. I firmly believe in it.

I feel my challenge is leading people to see that the change that comes when you're angry doesn't have to be destructive. We definitely see anger fuel so many acts of change. Yet too many of them are destructive and they don't have to be (i.e.: war).

Because of my training I get that anger is an expression of an unmet need (Thank you Jai). It's time to get behind the anger, figure out the need and then make changes that will help meet the need. In the instance where it's too late for you to use the solution, you are figuring it out for someone else. 

And for those who are sad and try to remain in their sadness, it's time to rise up. The motto for L.U.V. Enterprises Presents, LLC is "building the village, raising the child". To rise is internal work. It means to respect, instruct, serve and emancipate self so you can mentor others to do the same. 

Technically, we can't change others. But we can mentor others to change themselves. And that is the way we CAN change other people (thanks Howie for that one). Anyways... I can go on and on and on!

I'm excited about this letter. I need it. It's funny too because I was once asked, if I had a daughter, what would I tell her. This letter would be what I want her to know. This letter is to the little girl in me. This is the letter I want to receive. 

Thanks for so much for being here. I know I can go on and on and on and just keep on talking. I have A LOT to say. And now that I know what to say and I'm choosing to be courageous about saying it, I'm excited. 

Before I go just a couple more things. I want to highlight a project I worked on with the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) to provide information about available resources to families experiencing homelessness. I'm totally honored to have participated in it and you can find it on the DHHS website and on their YouTube channel:

Link for Introduction https://youtu.be/NvXOReQIuGw

Mental Health Supports https://youtu.be/zP6DgPWLTsc

Parenting Supports https://youtu.be/00fwG-i-gVs

Children’s Services https://youtu.be/D5pufzUuHno

Housing Supports https://youtu.be/PKMjy_8fPaI

Job Helps https://youtu.be/cKhHpTPvazk

It was done as a way to helping families advocate for their own needs as the strategic plan, I was also a part of creating, was completed. Check out page 3 and you'll see the introduction I wrote. Needless to say, life is good. 

There's a reason why I say "it's another amazing day in paradise". Life is not without challenges. I mean we're still without stable housing. We've actually been blessed to stay in someone's office for the last week or so. We have the key to come and go as we please. 

It's not ideal but it's also not outside. It's been super helpful. We're blessed and highly favored. I sincerely hope you feel the same way too. 

If you've found any value in what I've been sharing and would like to contribute some funds to help sustain me and Wis at this time, please check out my digital business card for both direct (fundraiser, Cash App, Venmo, PayPal) and indirect options (digital products for sale). 

By contributing you can gain access to the current book I'm writing, Dear White Men...! I offer incentives for different levels of access so please check it out. I'll also be posting the Introduction on my blog this Friday and Saturday. That will round out a week of blogging before I focus on the letters. This is one of the benefits of sleeping in an office. Just being able to get up, sit at a desk and type.

Thank you again for being here. Thank you in advance for your continued support. Continued success in all your pursuits. Enjoy the amazing day you're creating. Peace...