"I Am NOT A Beggar"-Part 1

This was the message God kept putting in my mind a couple of weekends ago. It wasn't "you are not a beggar". It was "I am not a beggar." Over and over and over again this statement permeated my mind in the middle of the night, mind you. Why?

Well, the backdrop to this scenario was it was Friday night into Saturday morning, February 28th into the 29th. There were quite a few events going on Saturday morning and afternoon. I was trying to decide which ones I should attend.

There was one by the City of Raleigh about developing rapid transit around affordable housing. It was from 10-11:30 a.m. Note: There used to be relatively rapid transit around affordable housing until gentrification happened. Now people have to travel farther to get to jobs because of the lack of housing they can afford being accessible to the places they work.

I digress... Sorta.

There was another meeting by the City of Raleigh called the "Mayor's Unity Day" scheduled from 10:30-3 p.m. Notice the overlap in time. It was supposed to be a celebration of Black History Month being held at the Convention Center right in downtown Raleigh. I had not even heard of it until Friday night. And that was pretty much by accident when I happened to be on Facebook.

There was yet another meeting that morning. A gathering of people who were pissed at the city for having the audacity to double book events, both which would have been of importance to the Black community. They also planned to address the rapid gentrification of the city. That meeting was scheduled for 11.

So I was torn. My mind pondered which one to go to as I feel asleep. After some needed rest and in the darkest part of the day, my answer came: "I am NOT a beggar." Over and over and over again the thought repeated itself. As I took the message to heart God was telling me that the things the people were addressing were not of my concern. I did not have to "beg" the city to recognize me as a person and grant me equity so I could afford the simplest necessities in life. "Nope!" God said. "There's no way."

I didn't go to anything that morning. Instead I went to an event I hadn't planned to go to in the afternoon. I talk about it in an earlier entry called "Channeling My Anger". And because I did channel my anger God and opened myself up to His Love again He has revealed the other side of what that statement means. 

"I am not a beggar." What does it mean now?

In this journey through homelessness my son and I have been on a lot of things have been revealed to me. Even though I've experienced more than my fair share of anger, I have also had some power filled experiences with the scriptures.

As this statement kept reverberating in my mind, I looked up the scripture about being a lender and not a borrower. In Deuteronomy 28:12-13 KJV, it says:

"The Lord shall open unto thee His good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thy hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow. 

"And the Lord shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the Lord thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them..."

Whoa! That is a big promise. And in the back of my mind I think "but I have nothing! How am I going to lend? I still need to borrow!" But God... that's my favorite part. But God... He stepped in and calmed my fears. He compiled all the information in my heart and mind and said "go ahead now. Get to work!" And so here we are.

I'm excited to share what's next with you. 

Continued in Part 2