Sagacious Saturday: Do You Know Momma Kai?

Do You Know Momma Kai?

Welcome and welcome back. It's another amazing day in paradise. Thank you so much for being here.

If this is your first time, please know how much I appreciate you being here. If you've been here before, thank you again for trusting there is something here worth your time.

Can I start out with being vulnerable? It's been a doozie of a year already. I don't throw the year away though. I'm inspired that with so many challenges to begin with, I'm being refined for greater things. I like the way Take 6 sings it when they say, "the race is not given to the swift or the strong but the one who endures to the end". It's based on Ecclesiastes 9:11.

Some days have definitely felt like I was just enduring, trying to make it to the end of the day to sleep it off and try again the next. But, honestly, most days I've been more than enduring. Even though it's been a trying and tiring time, I wouldn't change it if I could. I would not ask to do anything differently. 

And that right there, I'm realizing (as I write), is the difference between refining and enduring. One is just hanging on while the other is taking the opportunity to learn. I'm not just hanging on. 

You ever hear of that quote that says "when you come to the end of your rope, tie a know and hold on". Well I was there. But since I was hang I started to swing so I could make it to my next destination. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm grateful, so incredibly grateful.

Which leads to today's post, on a Saturday. I'm here right now, not giving up. I'm shifting to accommodate what has happened to direct what I want to happen moving forward. So let's keep going.

This post is inspired by Jimmy Davies, Founder, CEO and visionary mastermind behind Every.Black (called every dot black, a website and business). Because he hosts weekly virtual meetings there are always people who don't know him. So every 3-6 months he takes the time to feature himself as the main speaker.

If you haven't been here before, I want to let you know this blog is chock full of information. It's my brain unloading. There is a post called "Quantifiable Wins" where I list a bunch of the things I've accomplished. I started out thinking I would do an update of that post here but instead I added to that post.

My accommplishments don't really let you get to know me. They shows you what I've done and perhaps give you an opportunity to learn something about me but I want you to KNOW me. I want you to know what makes me get up in the morning, passionate about starting each day.

When all was said and done, I came up with a few things:

1. I was born on Human Rights Day.

2. I'm a mom and student of a young Black male superhero.

3. 50 is the New 25

4. The Great 8... My Great 8... (?-still working on that)

Now, these topics will really let you get to know me. Before jumping in I'll start with the basics. My government name is Kara Lynn Sanders. Most people know me by my nickname, Kai. I was born on December 10,1973. I celebrated turning 50 on December 10, 2023.

Human Rights Day

When I was in my 30s I found out that I share my birthday with Human Rights Day, a day to commemorate the signing of the Declaration of Human Rights. It had been active for 25 years the day I was born. This one piece of information reminded me of know God has a sense of humor.

My life has been a declaration of human rights before I even knew there was one. I have always fought for the underdog. Probably because I felt like I was one myself. And now that I am clear on my life calling, all I'll ever do is declare the right for humans to be human, authentically human, not the version someone else wants them to be. 

Mom and Student

I owe that to my young Black male superhero. That's why within the last year I started introducing myself as Momma Kai. I found my superpowers being the mom and student of a young Black male superhero. Do you know you can't parent a superhero if you aren't one yourself? I had to learn! 

If you don't know the incredible being I get to be mom and student to, I need to introduce him. I am the mom and student of a dynamic, charming, vibrant, intelligent, beautiful, caring, handsome, Loving, emancipated and liberated young Black male superhero. The name God gave me for him when I was pregnant is Wisdom. And he is my heart beating outside of me. 

When he was born, he made my greatest wish to be a mom come true. The circumstances were not what I expected but he was here and I now have the greatest adventure and the best career ever being a mom. 

I call him my superhero for various reasons. I was inspired by this sign, which crossed my path about 5 years ago. I used it as a wallpaper on my phone for a long time.

My reality is the reason my son is my superhero is because he saved me. He saved my life. He DID, he DOES save my life. I would NOT have pursued the things that led me to my life calling if I wasn't his mom, if he wasn't my son. I had no reason to. He is among my greatestet teachers, which God already knew. 

When I was pregnant God gave me Wisdom's name. I tell people all the time, "I didn't give him his name.God did." I refuse to take credit for that. Initially I told God "no" and chuckled. Who was He trying to fool? I knew I would have the responsibility for him living up to that name.  

But God, being the comedian He is, revealed Wisdom's calling so I couldn't say no. I was told, "his name is going to be Wisdom, not for the things he will learn but for the things he will teach." And yes... teach he does. And learn I am.

In fact it was because I wanted to be the best mom I could be that I sought out as much education as I could find to be the best for him. I was smart enough to know I didn't know what I needed to know. And thankfully God led me to where I could find it.

It started with the Circle of Security training I received through the early headstart program we were involved in. Then about 4 years laters I was able to build on that strong foundation with the Jai Institute for Parenting. The experience I had with Jai continues to change my life and I'm so grateful for the information they provided for me to learn.

50 is the NEW 25!

Jai was the start of my journey to understand the science behind brain development and nervous system regulation. The things I learned definitely help me parent Wisdom, using parent as an action word. But mostly, what I learned was how to re-parent myself. I started that course in January 2022, only 2 years ago.

The following year, last year in January 2023, I pursued a plant based coaching certification with the Food Revolution Network. As I mentioned earlier, I turned 50 in December of last year. And I think the thing that stood out the most to me is for 1. I didn't feel any different. And for 2. I'd only really been an adult for about 25 years if you consider when the brain is fully developed. 

For me, my 50 is my 25! And moving forward, I declare "50 is the NEW 25"! Please note: I wrote that on the blog post I created for my birthday. I'm just reiterating it here.

If you are lost, please let me explain. We currently factor being an adult by when you can legally separate from your parents which is 18 or when you can legally drink, which is 21. But neither one of those ages represents when your brain is fully developed. 

The last part of your brain that develops is called the prefrontal cortex. At the earliest it finishes developing at 25. That is half my life ago.

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for what is called "Executive Function". It doesn't start developing until about 7 years of age and finishes 18-20 years later. One of the main duties of the prefrontal cortex is reasoning. 

This is where I'm going to invite you to do a little research and look it up. All those times when we expect, children, teenagers and young adults to make better decisions and they don't... Yes, well, part of it is because they lack the executive function.

Then I thought about how I had only known about how my brain developed for less than 2 years. I thought about all the information I have learned since then. Then it hit me. Our brains can only "fully" develop based on the information that's in it. 

Thankfully once it is developed, it doesn't have to stay limited. It has this incredible gift of being able to receive new information which can lead to new habits which can lead to a new life. This ability to change is called neuroplasticity.

The challenge with that is as an adult, it takes a whole lot longer for that new information to register for a change in behavior to take place than it did when we were younger.

Whoosa! WHOOSA! Can we take a deep breathe here? There is a lot in those paragraphs. That information often triggers my nervous system. And that's a whole other topic that is intimately linked to brain development. These are our common denominators yet they are not common knowledge. I plan to change that.  

The Great 8

Once I knew about brain development and nervous system regulation, trauma and nutrition were naturally added to the progression. Those are my BIG 4. At this point I'm sure you're like, but 4 is only half of 8. True. 

My specialties are gratitude, oppression, emancipation and liberation. These four are as intimately connected to one another as the first 4 are. Combined they are "The Great 8", "My Great 8". They are so deeply intertwined and NO ONE talks about them together. At least that hasn't been my experience. Believe me I've been looking. 

The weight that sits on my shoulders to bring this information to the masses is quite HUGE! I'm always wondering if I'm ready for the backlash. Fear has kept me silent. 

At this point, I can no longer be silent. It's not that I don't have fear. It's that, I've been groomed for this moment. And while the fear of backlash has kept me silent, the emancipation and liberation I know people will gain has me taking very careful footsteps to speak up. 

Careful is not the best word though. Consistent... Solid... Not quite... Still pondering... I think the word I'm looking for is confident. Yes... I'm not treading lightly here. I'm treading confidently on sacred ground. So there is confidence in the journey ahead but there is also reverence. 

And that's where I'm leaving this for now. Hopefully the things I shared piqued your interest and generally gave you a more personal perspective of me compared to just naming the things I've accomplished. Now that you have this information, I want you to know why you should know me. I want you to know what I'm going to do with it.

Besides the fact that I'm going to be famous one day (wink, wink, smile), the importance of knowing me is more about how it will benefit you versus how it will benefit me. I'll be posting again tomorrow, Sunday, 1/28 to share 4 reasons why you should know me. And on Monday, 1/29 I'll be providing more details about the course I'm launching "Moving To Peace From War in 2024". I hope you'll come back.

Thanks again and in advance. I appreciate you investing your time here. Enjoy the amazing day you're creating. Peace...