Think Tank Thursday: Love Never Dies
Love Never Dies
Welcome and welcome back! It's another amazing day in paradise. Thank you so much for being here.
Ya know something...? I Love me. Haahaahaa... I'm sure you weren't expecting that one, were you?
I was going to start writing and get in the trenches of this whole experience with my dad's estate, the woman who married him and his family who tried to "help".
Before I went there I had to stop and say, "I Love me".
You know why? Because I allow myself to receive inspiration. Because I truly have a brilliant mind. Don't get me wrong. There are things that I'm absolutely clueless about. But the things I know, I know. And I know I am inspired.
That is only one of the reasons why I Love me though. I Love and am grateful that God Loves me too and puts all the information and people I need in my path.
I started on this journey to protect my dad's legacy really, ready to fight the woman who married my dad. But as I've gathered information and really thought about everything and allowed God to lead me, I realized I should not be fighting anyone. She is not my enemy.
I remember my aunt saying she really thought the woman who married my dad cared about him. After all she did "take care" of him until he was committed to a nursing home. Don't get me wrong, she also thought he had plenty of money for her to spend but the fact that she truly cared for him came back to my mind as I was contemplating everything with God this morning.
What I began to feel is the way my dad's family handled things was a combination of keeping her AND me "away from his money" by the way they got a conservator instead of engaging me and my dad's cousin to act as co-trustees of his trust, as he had written, when there was a concern.
I kept hearing about the trust but I didn't get a copy of it until almost a month after his death. When I read it I realized my dad's trust laid everything out. It was so brilliantly written. All his wishes from life through any illness and beyond his death were mentioned.
Since the family had a copy of the trust, they knew what it said. And they decided to act against it. The foolishness in that is what they did backfired. And everything they said they were trying to protect is in danger of being lost anyway.
The one thing they didn't count on is the fact that I'm here and I'm paying attention and I'm investigating and... and... and... I'm being inspired!
I Love me.
I have come to realize how much I appreciate my dad trusting me. I am grateful he was wise enough to put his cousin in as co-trustee so I wouldn't fail. Also, because I didn't (and still don't) have a relationship with either of my brothers, putting his cousin in as co-trustee gave everyone someone they could trust.
From my personal perspective, knowing I have struggled financially all my life, I'm grateful I would have that partner to help me navigate stepping into a role where I would be responsible for all of my dad's finances while navigating his health challenges and realizing I was on a journey to losing him. To be 100% honest, in some ways I'm grateful I didn't have to go through that.
When I was telling my mom about what was going on, she said something to the effect of, "I never thought a man as big as your dad would deteriorate like that". That's not an exact quote, but you get the point. It was one of the few things that made me shed tears.
My mom had not spoken to or seen my dad in probably 30 or more years. And while he was tall, she was talking about how big his personality was. I'm grateful I get to remember him the way he was when I last saw him and not what he had become.
And now that I'm in the trenches with this stuff I'm seeing why he did what he did. I don't think I ever realized how much I really knew my dad until I read his trust. Having been through my parent coaching stuff, I knew him even better. I never got to tell him that in person but I'm sure he knows now.
Actually I know he knows it. He keeps making appearances. I don't know how many times Stanley (my dad's name) can pop up in the most random places but it is... he is. And this is not like that phenomena where you buy a car and then you see it everywhere or something like that.
My dad's name has popped up in the most odd and random places like he's saying "I'm here." The coolest part is that Wisdom sees them first 100% of the time. In fact, Wisdom was the first one who "channeled" him when he named a character "Stanley" without knowing that was my dad's name.
The next time was when Wis was on our laptop scrolling through the selection of Wifi options and one of them was "Stanleywifi". Then we were at the grocery store, a store we have been at almost daily and Wis noticed that the manufacturer of the door was Stanley. That was too funny!
On Sunday, May 6, we were invited to dinner with a family. It was our first time at their home and they were watching a hockey game. According to them, it's something they rarely do but it's the championship series. Do you happen to know what the championship series is called in hockey, what's they're trying to win? (Wisdom noticed.) That's right! The Stanley Cup! Haaahaahaa...
And then this morning the song, "Love Never Dies" by Patti LaBelle came to mind as I started writing this post. I pulled up the video on YouTube and googled the lyrics. These words stood out:
And I knew my dad was sending me yet another sign that he is close. This song resonates because my dad had the biggest laugh and when I think of him that's what I miss the most and wish I had a recording of.
So this song is yet another message that he is aware. That he is watching and opening the doors for me to succeed in his behalf and honor the legacy he worked so hard to build and intended to leave for his children.
Because the way things are headed, my brothers both benefit in ways that destroy everything my dad built. Crazy right? It is heartbreaking to me but I'm not done yet.
I had to change my perspective because it had me in fight or flight. In my sympathetic nervous system, I'm no good for anyone. I had to realize I'm not fighting anyone. I shouldn't be anyway. I'm fighting FOR my dad.
This has been such a beautiful life lesson for me once I admitted I was unregulated. I was pissed and it wasn't just with the woman who married him. It was his family and my brothers too. In that state of mind I can't tap into my executive function. My genius is far from me.
So I had to shift my focus. My journey to help my dad definitely is important but I was working on launching the masterclass and getting information out about "The Science of Violence" when this all happened. Even though I didn't want to hurt someone, I was unregulated.
I might as well have been violent though. Violence in its most basic form is the reaction of someone who is highly unregulated, whose nervous system is in a severe state of "fight or flight".
What I'm trying to say is there was a science to how I was feeling too. So I was inspired to shift my thinking. And you know what? I'm so grateful God and my dad are walking me through this so I can get it right. So I can succeed and honor his wishes.
I'm excited about the future, even though I have a lot of work to do. I mean A LOT of work to do. When my dad's estate goes before the court, they aren't looking at people. They are looking at papers. I want them to know my dad through his trust. He could be a pain in the you know what but his trust was well thought out and reflects him so well.
The End and...
The beginning of great things, greater things. There has been so much to navigate this year. I am so grateful for where I am headed. I am so grateful I allow myself to be inspired so I can get there, wherever there is.
I'm still thinking first Black female mayor of Raleigh so stay tuned. I have about 2 more months before I have to make that final decision and register. I'll keep you posted.
Thank you again for being here. If anything I have shared is a blessing to you, please consider investing in your private invitation to my masterclass called "How Do You Change a Light Bulb? Revealing the Powerful Gift of Neuroplasticity". You get to choose the amount you give and still get 100% of my expertise.
I'll be sharing some tools to help you regulate your nervous system when it gets triggered. You'll definitely want to be there if this language is foreign to you. Continued success in all you're doing. Enjoy the amazing day you're creating. Peace...
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