Momma's Monday: Leading with Compassion and Neuroscience

Leading with Compassion and Neuroscience

Welcome and welcome back. Happy Monday. It's another amazing day in paradise. Thank you so much for being here. Happy Labor Day. For some of you, that might be Laboring Day. 

No matter how you're celebrating, it's an exciting time to be alive. There is a lot going on in the world and I'm grateful for where I am right now in my journey.

Do you know I'm going to be the next mayor of Raleigh? Yes, I'm talking about this year. Now if you look on the Board of Elections website you will not find my name to confirm this information... yet. That’s because I didn’t file to run... yet.

Because I didn't file during the filing period (that puts my name on the ballot), when I do register... this week... I will run as a write-in candidate. Yes, that does increase the likelihood that I will NOT win. I admit it so it’s noted when I overcome it.

Now technically some would suggest I'm "behind the 8 ball". I mean I have so much "against" me right? 

~ I mean... let me jump right in and be honest. Some people don't like me. They have their own versions of our stories to tell. That doesn't bother me so much. People simply will have to decide whose version their going to believe. I'm not even trying to fight that.

~ Wisdom and I are living in our car. 

~ I haven't registered to run yet and as of Tuesday, September 3, the election is only 9 weeks away. 

~ Again, I will be a write-in candidate. 

~ And... not that I think this is unfavorable but the reality is Raleigh has never had a Black/African-American, female mayor before. So I've got to build trust as America faces electing the first female president, who happens to be a BIPOC woman herself.

To add to what others might deems as challenges, the young lady who volunteered to be my treasurer over the summer realized how much of a burden that would be once she started school this semester for her and her boys. Now I'm looking for a treasurer so I can file to run. Crazy, right? I'm grateful she realized it before I put her name on anything. 

So I'm excited and grateful for how God is ordering my footsteps. All of these things make me excited. They make me excited because I know I am a different candidate. 

To me, this election isn't a popularity contest. To me, the results of this election determines whether my young Black male superhero gets to live a long, healthy life, fulfilling his dreams of being himself and die of natural causes. I'm talking about from the mayoral election all the way up.

That's why I'm leading as a momma, matriarch and mayor with compassion and neuroscience. I've got to think like a mayor before I can be one!

I’ve contemplated becoming mayor off and on for the last 2 years. A couple of weeks before the last election in 2022, God told me, "Raleigh doesn't need a new mayor. It needs a matriarch." At the time I thought God was telling me to run but I didn't want to. But I called the Board of Elections anyway, because God said to. Thankfully I couldn't. I didn't have enough time. I never forgot the message though.

Between then and now, God opened so many doors for me to get involved in the political arena even though I'm not a politician. I'm a momma. I'm a matriarch. And because this is a non-partisan election, thankfully I can be a mayor as well.

My focus is on Raleigh's present and future. BOTH the present and the future are our children. So at the beginning of this year I took the message about Raleigh needing a matriarch seriously.

I started looking at Raleigh from the perspective of a momma and there were three main messages that came out of that contemplation, along with a slew of other messages that I've come across while being engaged with the community. They are:

1. Everyone in Raleigh is my family. They are my sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, bonus moms and bonus dads, nieces, nephews and cousins. I'm Momma Kai!

2. We have a dysfunctional family. Since I could admit that I could also admit that we aren't always going to get along. We're not always going to agree and we are not always going to be kind to one another. But with my training as a parent coach, I believe in the power of repair. And just because I'm not close to someone doesn't mean I don't Love them. Love is simply my thing.

3. We need to uplift the most vulnerable so everyone can thrive. Our children, our elders, our unhoused are the most vulnerable. They are not the only ones who are vulnerable, to me they are the most vulnerable.

So in order to make sure things are done with them in mind, I need to lead with compassion and neuroscience. Compassion means I recognize the suffering of one of my family members and empathize with them coupled with a strong desire to alleviate their suffering. Exercising that compassion means I work to alleviate it.

Leading with neuroscience means that however, wherever, whenever someone comes at me in a way that triggers my nervous system (because it's going to happen), I have to recognize we both have needs that aren't being met or there is a threat (real or perceived) that is causing us to go into fight, flight, freeze or please.

My response-ability says meet my need first (get to a state of mental safety, regulation, rest and digest). Then find out what the genuine need is and help them feel safe. It's up to me to be regulated enough to help them feel confident that their needs will be met. That helps their nervous system become regulated and we can get to the heart of the matter.

Compassion and neuroscience are the perfect blend of spirituality and science so that we can get people what they need and return their nervous systems to a state of safety. What "safe" looks like is different for everyone. But I'm committed to us getting there.

If any of this has been too technical for you or you really don't understand, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. This is too important to not understand. Neuroscience is a gift. And it is our truest common denominator. I intend to lead in a way that recognizes and honors that gift within each of us.

I'm trying to keep this short so tomorrow I'm going to talk about what I see as Raleigh's three biggest issues and how to handle them, as a momma, matriarch and mayor leading with compassion and neuroscience. I hope you'll join me. 

By the way, if you're interested in becoming a volunteer for my campaign, please let me know. Thank you again and in advance. I genuinely appreciate you being here. Continued success. Enjoy the amazing day you're creating. Peace...